{"id":3501,"date":"2016-05-03T12:50:15","date_gmt":"2016-05-03T12:50:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/myogastudio.ch\/?p=3501"},"modified":"2026-05-20T14:21:24","modified_gmt":"2026-05-20T12:21:24","slug":"two-minds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/two-minds\/","title":{"rendered":"The Two Minds"},"content":{"rendered":"

Your Two Minds by Mark Manson<\/span><\/h2>\n
\n
\n
\n

Close your eyes. Wait, don\u2019t close them yet. Finish reading this paragraph, then close them. OK, close your eyes and try to think about nothing for 30 seconds.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ready? Go.<\/span><\/p>\n

(Waiting\u2026)<\/span><\/p>\n

Wasn\u2019t easy was it? Chances are that various thoughts and images kept popping into your head.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, I want you to try the same exercise again, except this time I want you to pay attention to which specific thoughts and images pop up. Try to keep track of them. Notice them, note what they are, and then let them go. See if you can do that for a minute.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ready? Go.<\/span><\/p>\n

(Waiting\u2026)<\/span><\/p>\n

What were they? Maybe that fight you had with your brother the other day. Or the assignment that\u2019s due tomorrow, but you\u2019re reading this instead. Or maybe a movie you saw recently, or some sort of fantasy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chances are you were able to notice them for a little while, but then you quickly find yourself getting sucked into thinking about them involuntarily.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve ever meditated, even a little bit, you\u2019re familiar with the experience you just had.<\/span><\/p>\n

You closed your eyes and tried to shut your mind up, even if for 30 seconds, and despite your best efforts the spigot of thought vomit just kept pouring out.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve ever attended meditation retreats or been involved in some movement such as Zen like I was for a while, they talk a lot about this \u201cmind chatter\u201d that you suffered through.<\/span><\/p>\n

And the thing is, that \u201cmind chatter\u201d never stops. It\u2019s always going on in your daily life.<\/span><\/p>\n

A lot of these eastern philosophies aim to \u201cquiet\u201d that chatterbox of a mind that we have, and I suppose it\u2019s useful to put a little damper on it.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I\u2019ve actually found practicing these sorts of techniques have another benefit, a benefit psychologists are just catching on to and starting to write about here in the West.<\/span><\/p>\n

That benefit is what I call the \u201cTwo Minds.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"two

When you close your eyes and try to eliminate any thoughts (and fail miserably like the rest of us), obviously your mind is thinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

But if your mind is thinking, then who is observing the mind thinking?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Whoa\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

When you did the exercise and your mind kept wandering back to what you had to do at work tomorrow, who was it that was watching your mind worry about work tomorrow?<\/span><\/p>\n

It was your mind watching your mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0In Zen they refer to this as the \u201cThinking Mind\u201d and the \u201cObserving Mind.\u201d The two minds.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a common concept in Buddhism for centuries, and new western therapies such as Acceptance-Commitment Therapy (ACT), are catching on to how useful it is and how it can solve a lot<\/em> of our every day emotional problems.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll break down the Two Minds further and then show how they can be applied to solving many of the emotional problems we deal with in our everyday lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

The problem with the Thinking Mind is that we don\u2019t completely control it.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t believe me? I\u2019ll prove it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever you do, do NOT think about a pink elephant. Don\u2019t think about a pink elephant holding a blue umbrella with his trunk. Don\u2019t think about a pink elephant at all while reading the next two paragraphs.<\/span><\/p>\n

OK, not only did you picture a big pink elephant with a blue umbrella, but you were watching yourself think about a pink elephant while you were reading the past two paragraphs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your Observing Mind was watching your Thinking Mind indulge in pink elephants repeatedly, despite the fact that it was telling your Thinking Mind NOT to indulge in said elephants.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Thinking Mind is always chattering away while you\u2019re waiting in line, while you\u2019re in bed trying to sleep, when you \u201ctune out\u201d of conversations with people, or when your mind wanders while reading (which I\u2019m sure will happen at least once with me\u2026 asshole).<\/span><\/p>\n

Our Thinking Mind is like a horny dog on a leash that keeps running after things and if we aren\u2019t used to using our Observing Mind, then our Thinking Mind drags us along with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

If our Thinking Mind starts obsessing about reaching level 30 in Diablo or the last episode of Mad Men, our Observing Mind is helpless to reign it in.<\/span><\/p>\n

The same goes for emotions. And that\u2019s actually where most of our suffering comes from \u2013 not from the negative emotions themselves, but from the fact that we\u2019re helpless from getting sucked into the negative emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Most of our psychological and emotional stress happens because our Thinking Mind and Observing Mind are \u201cfused\u201d and we don\u2019t recognize the difference.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

People ask me all the time, \u201cHow do I stop feeling so jealous?\u201d or \u201cHow do I stop feeling so angry?\u201d or \u201cHow do I not get nervous in this situation anymore?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The answer: you don\u2019t. You can\u2019t control your Thinking Mind. Those emotions pop up and will continue to pop up.<\/span><\/p>\n

The trick is to not fuse with those emotions when they arise.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

In Zen, they advise that instead of saying, \u201cI am angry,\u201d to say, \u201cI feel anger.\u201d Instead of saying, \u201cI am nervous,\u201d say, \u201cI feel nervousness.\u201d Instead of saying, \u201cI am jealous,\u201d you say, \u201cI feel jealousy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It may seem like a subtle difference, but try it. Think of a time recently when you felt a negative emotion, a lot of anger or nervousness or insecurity.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, instead of thinking, \u201cI was angry at my brother,\u201d think instead, \u201cI felt anger towards my brother.\u201d You HAD anger, but you weren\u2019t controlled by the anger.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emotions are not a choice. Behavior is.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

People ask me all the time, \u201cHow do you deal with being afraid of failure?\u201d or \u201cHow do you not worry about being rejected?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I deal with fear and worry by dealing with fear and worry.<\/span><\/p>\n

(I know, that\u2019s a really annoying answer.)<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel the same fear and worry anyone else does, I just don\u2019t identify with it. I accept it and move on despite it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t let my Thinking Mind control me. I defuse from my emotions. When I feel fear, I consciously choose to act despite it. When I feel worry, I consciously choose to act despite it.<\/span><\/p>\n

For instance, when I have to sit down and write a lot (like writing this), I often get nervous. I want to write something really great because I know thousands of people are going to read it.<\/span><\/p>\n

One result of this nervousness is procrastination.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was younger and I was in situations where I got nervous and procrastinated (e.g., a big term paper in school), I would decide, \u201cI can\u2019t do it because I\u2019m too tired,\u201d or \u201cI can\u2019t focus like other people, I must have ADD or something.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

This was me being fused with my Thinking Mind. There was no separation between my emotions and my identity.<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt nervous and had a thought of \u201cI can\u2019t do it for X, Y or Z reason,\u201d and I accepted it at face value. I was a slave to my Thinking Mind, tugged by its leash.<\/span><\/p>\n

These days I\u2019m often able to sit down and write 5,000 words or more in a single day. I still feel the same anxiety. I still hear the same thoughts (\u201cI need to eat first,\u201d \u201cI should take a nap,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not in a writing mood right now.\u201d)<\/span><\/p>\n

But now, instead of identifying with these thoughts, I acknowledge them:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI feel nervousness about writing today.\u201d<\/span>
\n \u201cI have the thought that I need to eat first.\u201d<\/span>
\n \u201cI have the thought that I need to take a nap first.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And then I turn to my Thinking Mind and promptly tell him that he\u2019s full of shit and that I don\u2019t need a damn thing except to sit my ass down and start writing.<\/span><\/p>\n

We all produce excuses and negative emotions involuntarily. Guess what? That\u2019s NEVER going to change.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care how many positive thoughts you conjure, what kind of therapies you do, or what kind of New Agey spiritual crap you come up with \u2013 negative thoughts and emotions are natural products of the human brain.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can\u2019t get away from them. None of us can.<\/span><\/p>\n

What you CAN do is accept them. Defuse from them. And then act despite them.<\/span><\/p>\n

When people come to me ask how to \u201cstop feeling angry,\u201d or \u201cstop getting nervous,\u201d this is their problem: As soon as you try to eliminate a thought or emotion, you make it stronger.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

As the Buddhist saying goes: \u201cWhat you resist will persist.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Or as Tony Robbins<\/a> says: \u201cYou feel what you focus.\u201d The more you focus on an emotion, the more powerful it becomes. Thus, negative emotions are like quicksand, the more you struggle to get out of them, the further into them you sink.<\/span><\/p>\n

The trick is to accept them and then let go. This is a skill and it is a process, but it cannot be practiced until you recognize that there are two minds and you only control one of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"two

Here are some exercises you can do that will help you separate your two minds<\/em><\/strong> and therefore take more control of your behaviors despite your thoughts and emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Whenever you feel a strong emotion or thought, disidentify with it and then take possession of it.<\/strong><\/span>
\n \u201cMy boss is not an idiot. But I am having the thought that my boss is an idiot.\u201d<\/span>
\n \u201cI don\u2019t hate my ex-girlfriend. I am feeling hatred toward my ex-girlfriend.\u201d<\/span>
\n \u201cI am not lonely and depressed. I am feeling loneliness and depression.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Language is very powerful. Disidentifying from these emotions and thoughts in this way does two things: 1) implies that they\u2019re temporary states, and not permanent conditions; and 2) forces you to take responsibility for them. They\u2019re nobody\u2019s fault, they just are.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Thank your Thinking Mind for negative thoughts and emotions.<\/strong> This is a technique from ACT and it is effective. It may sound absolutely nuts, but it\u2019s effective because it FORCES you to accept your negative emotions instead of fight them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Thinking Mind, for feeling nervous before my date tonight. It will keep me on my toes!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Thinking Mind, for being angry at my boss. I really appreciate how much you care.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

This is going to feel really bizarre \u2013 expressing gratitude towards negative emotions. But I think you\u2019ll find that it diminishes the power of the thoughts and emotions over time and actually impels you to take action despite them.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Finally, if you find yourself in the heat of the moment, or if there\u2019s something that\u2019s really nagging at you, try this out.<\/strong><\/span>
\n Take something that\u2019s bothered you recently and hold it in your mind. Maybe it\u2019s your girlfriend nagging you. Maybe it\u2019s being terrified of talking to that cute girl in class next to you. Maybe it\u2019s quitting your job.<\/span>
\n Distill it into a single sentence, such as, \u201cI feel afraid of quitting my job.\u201d Or \u201cI feel irritated with my girlfriend.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Now close your eyes and imagine Bugs Bunny saying it, while chewing a carrot. Then Mickey Mouse saying it, while dancing and doing cartwheels. Pretend the Chipmunks are singing it to you in the form of a Christmas carol.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, turn it into an image, maybe your angry girlfriend, or your broke ass sitting on the curb. Put that image on a television screen. Make the colors funny, give yourself a polka dotted suit. Make your girlfriend\u2019s hair into a bunch of candy canes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Make the thought look and sound absolutely ridiculous in your mind. Take your time and play with it. Try to make yourself laugh.<\/span><\/p>\n

After you\u2019ve done this for a minute or two, stop. How do you feel?<\/span><\/p>\n

Chances are you feel much better about it and the negative emotion isn\u2019t nearly as potent as it was before.<\/span><\/p>\n

Separating your Observing Mind from your Thinking Mind is a habit that takes practice. But once you begin to do it, you\u2019ll feel yourself becoming less and less of a slave to your thoughts and your emotions. You\u2019ll take more control of your internal daily life and feel better about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

In my opinion, this is the single most important step to developing self-discipline and acting despite whatever neuroses or mental hang ups you may suffer from.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once you\u2019ve differentiated your two minds, you can begin to evaluate your thoughts and feelings from an objective place and decide which ones are helpful and which ones are hurtful.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n

This post originally\u00a0appeared on markmanson.net<\/a>\u00a0and posted with his permission. Mark has a lot more to share, follow him on Twitter<\/a>, Facebook<\/a>\u00a0or visit his website markmanson.net<\/a>.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Images by Rani Willems<\/a>.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your Two Minds by Mark Manson Close your eyes. Wait, don\u2019t close them yet. Finish reading this paragraph, then close them. OK, close your eyes and try to think about nothing for 30 seconds. Ready? Go. (Waiting\u2026) Wasn\u2019t easy was it? Chances are that various thoughts and images kept popping into your head. Now, I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3561,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,54,77],"tags":[120,39],"class_list":["post-3501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditation","category-yoga-lifestyle","category-yoga-world","tag-lifestyle","tag-meditation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3501","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3501"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3501\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5275,"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3501\/revisions\/5275"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myogacoaching.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}